It can't get any worse.....right? chapter 18

The next morning I was woken up by the dogs barking at something, we had nothing but woods all behind us and to the side of us....really all there were, were woods and a few trailers. I looked at the clock that was sitting on the floor next to my....bed...and it said 6:20am......sigh. I laid there for a few minutes and tried to go back to sleep but the damn dogs wouldn't shut up so I cut my losses and got up. My brother had already left for school as it was a two hour bus ride there and back, my step dad was already gone to work and I expected to see Kym in the living room but she was still asleep. I made myself some scrambled eggs for breakfast and made a fresh pot of coffee, after I was done eating I decided to clean the bathroom.

I got under the sink to find some cleaning supplies and that's when I saw them.....the roaches.....I screamed and jumped back...those little satin worshipers were EVERY WHERE under there, I grabbed a plastic bag off the counter and stuck my hand in it so I could get the spray bottle of bleach and the scrubby pads that were down there, the whole time freaking out, I had NEVER been that close to a roach before and it was most definitely something I could have gone my entire life without. After doing a complete heeby jeeby dance I went into the bathroom and started cleaning, it took me TWO HOURS of soaking and scrubbing and soaking and scrubbing to get it clean....but it was clean. I left the bottle of cleaner on the counter in the bathroom, I just couldn't bring myself to put them back under the kitchen sink right then. I took a shower and got dressed, it was close to 10:30 by this time and  Kym still wasn't awake. I sat in the living room and watched TV for a while and I was getting hungry, I looked at the time, it was approaching noon, so I got up and made myself a sandwich. Kym got up around 1pm and was in a foul mood (seriously how can someone sleep till 1 in the afternoon and NOT be happy?) she was throwing shit around the kitchen and mumbling something to herself, I just ignored her. Finally she said are you the dumb shit that left my bathroom smelling like bleach? I said if by dumb shit you mean the person who cleaned your bathroom for you because it was nasty then yup that was me, your welcome. She proceeded to scream at me so I got up and walked into my room closing the door behind me. I sat in my room and cried for hours it felt like. I wanted to go home, but I didn't have a home anymore, I didn't have a family who loved me anymore....I had Kym. My brother came and knocked on the door and told me Kym said I needed to get ready, my step dad had called and said he wanted to take us all out for dinner tonight to celebrate me being there....yeah...whatever. I got dressed and put my make up on, straightened my hair and waited.....and waited and waited and waited. Kym, Dakota and I were all sitting in the living room waiting for my step dad to get home, he was already two hours late. Dakota went to bed around 11 and I went to lay down shortly after that (mind you Kym didn't bother cooking anything once it was clear we were definitely not going out that night, so Dakota and I had bologna sandwiches) I must have dozed off because I woke up to the loudest screaming I had ever heard before. I opened my door and stood in the doorway, I could see part of the living room from there and could hear the argument between Kym and my step dad, I glanced back at my clock and it read 2:02am. Apparently my step dad had just gotten home and Kym had stayed up waiting for him, he was drunk and making excuses why he was so late and we would all go out to dinner tomorrow night, Kym said don't you mean tonight you moronic dickhead, its after 2 am, IT IS TOMORROW!!! Apparently he didn't like that too much because the next thing I know I see Kym flying across the living room into the wall. Tom walked by me to his room and just said you didn't see or hear anything, besides no one will believe a teen whore anyways. I went to the living room to make sure Kym was okay and she pulled away from me, she said If you hadn't of come here this would have never happened. I just stood over her in disbelief and told her I didn't want to be here, that I wanted to go home....she then told me something I already knew.....YOU DONT HAVE A HOME

I had been here for two days and I wanted to leave so bad it hurt...it actually physically hurt.

There is a hell and I lived in it....chapter 17

My plane landed and I started shaking, what was I going to say to this woman that I didn't know? This woman that I had so much anger for, for so many different reasons. I just sat there waiting till the last possible moment to get off the plane, I couldn't wait any longer so I stood up took a deep breath and walked.

I stood there looking for Kym and finally spotted her....Bleach blonde hair, extremely short jean shorts, a tie dyed spaghetti strap shirt and these clog high heal things....she hadn't changed a bit. 

She saw me and ran over to me gushing....my baby girl....ohh my God I missed you...look at you, you have gotten so big!!! I didn't say anything. We walked in silence to get my luggage and sat in silence the entire drive to her house. after we had gotten out of Memphis and into Mississippi I noticed how rural everything was getting, when she said we were about 20 min away from her house I started crying, THERE WERE COWS IN PEOPLES FRONT YARDS!!!!! but the homes looked nice so at least there was that.....or maybe not. The closer we got the less houses and more trailers I saw, we pulled into this long gravel driveway and at the end behind a wall of trees was a very old, very dirty trailer that looked like it was falling apart.....I didn't want to get out of the truck, just looking at it made me feel like I needed a shower. I knew I was going to have to get out at some point so I did, Kym said...watch out for that third step, its breaking, your step father was supposed to fix it but hasn't gotten to it yet.......GREAT! 

I walk into the trailer and the place smelled like dirty wet dog....a second later I saw why....three dogs came running out of the bedroom and jumped all over Kym and then tried to jump on me, I wasn't having any of that, I yelled NO! Kym got angry and said I wasn't to yell at the dogs, I told her she was gonna have to just deal with it because I wasn't allowing dogs to jump all over me, and if it was an issue she could just sign the papers for Richard and I to get married and I could be on the next plane back to California.....she shut up. She showed me to my room....it was soooo small, I had an air mattress on the floor and a very small closet and a small window that was up toward the ceiling that you couldn't see out of....it was like a jail cell. Kym said after I was settled I could come help her with dinner. I unpacked my two suitcases and my closet was FULL....what the hell was I going to do with the rest of my clothes when they got there? Where was all my stuff going to go? WHERE WAS I GOING TO PUT THE BABY WHEN IT CAME?  I sat there and cried for another few minutes then composed myself and walked into the kitchen. Kym then told me about a little bug problem they were having....apparently the entire trailer was infested with ROACHES! yes you read that correctly....roaches!!! *BARF* She said I had to sleep with cotton balls in my ears to make sure they didn't crawl in and I had to keep my room spotless.....no problem, I would just hold a rag in my hand and spin...job done.  Kym said that my step dad was going to have the problem handled before the baby got here....I just kept thinking...If I can figure out a way I WONT BE HERE when the baby gets here. 

After dinner I had decided to take a shower and go to bed, I was exhausted. I went into the bathroom and it was a gross mess, the trash can was over flowing, the toilet had something growing in the bottom of it and the shower/tub was thick with hard water build up and soap scum and the calking was mildewed. No shower for me that night. I went to bed...with cotton balls in my ears.....and cried myself to sleep...I was cretin this wouldn't be the last night I did so.