I woke up on February 12th more excited than I had been in a very long time.
I WAS GETTING MARRIED TODAY!!!!
Our wedding wasn't till the late afternoon so our morning was pretty usual, got up, fed Kendra and changed her, watched some tv. I hadn't heard from any of my friends about attending the wedding so I decided to make a few calls, by the time I was done, I was a blubbering mess.
none of my family was coming, none of my friends were coming, I was on my own. I ended up finding one person who would be able to come, a girl I didn't know well, she had been in my circle of friends but we hadn't been what you would call close friends. She was now my only guest at the wedding and had offered to be my maid of honor.....which I took her up on. Part of me was crushed, my best friends refused to be a part of my wedding, they all thought we were making a mistake. I decided I wasn't going to allow myself to be upset, today wasn't about them, it was about Richard and me.
A friend of Richards family who was a hair dresser came out to our apartment and did my hair for me, and stayed with Kendra and I while Richard left to get ready at the church with his brother who was going to be his best man. At 6:30 I left my apartment to head to the church to get married. I was ushered into a woman's rest room to finish getting ready, my soon to be mother in law walked in with my maid of honor and she had a garter for me and my veil, the same one she wore when she married my soon to be father in law the year before (long story, don't ask). There was a knock on the bathroom door and it was Grandpa A, Richard had told him that no one from my family was showing up and he wanted to offer to walk me down the isle, I took him up on it.
15 minutes later I heard the music start, Richards cousin was going to play green peace on the piano. It was time. I took Grandpa A's arm and let him lead me down the isle to the man I was getting ready to spend the rest of my life with. I somehow managed to get through the vows without crying, and had to hold back from giggling when I noticed how nervous Richard was......It didn't help his nerves when the pastor said to kiss the bride and he gave me a peck of the lips and the pastor looked at him and said, I have met your daughter, I know you can do better than that. Richards face turned 20 different shades of red, then grabbed me around my waist and kissed me a good one.
I was now a wife.......and I couldn't have been happier.
Next was our small reception which was more like a baby shower than it was a wedding reception. there were gifts wrapped in baby shower paper all sitting on this large table against a far wall and a half dozen round tables with chairs around the room. against the opposite wall where the gifts were was a table holding our wedding cake, three tears, white and blue with a traditional topper. It wasn't fancy but it was free thanks to Richards other grandparents and it would get the job done. We got a ton of gifts for the baby and a few for our apartment, all very nice things that we were grateful for.
After we were done opening the gifts and cutting out cake Richard took me around introducing me to the rest of his family and family friends, something seemed off because every time we would walk up to a table people would stop talking......I was starting to feel insecure. Richard had his brother go around and see if he could find something out about what everyone was whispering about. About 30 minutes later he came back and said that everyone was taking bets on how long the marriage would last......and as far as he could tell the longest anyone gave us was a year. Richard was pissed and wanted to say something, but I told him our revenge would be to prove the entire room wrong. We ended up leaving our own reception early not really wanting to be around people taking bets on our marriages demise.
We stopped by Hollywood video on the way home in our wedding attire and rented a few movies, went home popped popcorn and watched movies the rest of the night while Kendra was fast asleep in her room.
Monday, June 29, 2015
Let the manipulation continue Chapter 27
Even from 1,792.3 miles away Kym was still trying to pull the strings. She knew since I was 18 she really couldn't do much but that wasn't going to stop her from trying.
The officer said we would have to come with him to the police station, I didn't want Kendra there so I asked if we could drop her off with Richards mom and meet them at the station. The officer said I had to go with him but that Richard could drop her off and then come in afterward.
I went with the officer, I asked him questions about what was going on and he wouldn't answer any of my questions. When we got to the station I was taken to what looked like a conference room and told to wait there. Not very long after a detective walked in, I was already fuming by this point and asked him why I was there. He said that my mother had called the police station in Buena Park and told them I had ran away from home and she thought I would go to California, that she thought I was able to do it with a fake ID.....I couldn't help but laugh. He got a bit upset with me and said that this wasn't something to laugh about, my mother was very concerned about me...........that made me laugh even harder.
I explained to the detective that I had turned 18 on the 25th and that the day after my birthday I had snuck out to the airport and left for California, and I explained why I had done it the way that I did. that Kym wasn't concerned about me, she was just gets off on making things harder for me. He said it would be easy enough to find out by running my social security number.....I gave it to him and waited. When he came back in he said that my story checked out, but the man I was with was still being questioned so i would have to stay in the room till they were done with him. When I asked what he was being questioned for he said my mother had also said that this man was forcing me to make the decision to leave home and was using the daughter we shared against me so I would agree to whatever he said. I told him that I had been with Richard for 3 years and he wasn't forcing me to do anything, he then said that Kym wanted to press charges for statutory rape.......I about lost it right there in front of the detective. He said it would be in my best interest to calm down and wait till they were done with their investigation.
I sat and cried, terrified that the man I loved was going to be arrested. Two hours later the detective came in and said I was free to leave....I said what about Richard? he said he is waiting for you out front. I said (sarcastically) that's awesome can we go get our marriage certificate now and not be harassed? He said sure but we wouldn't getting it today, the clerks office was closed now.
I was so mad I just broke down crying. Richard said it was okay that we would go the next morning. That wasn't the point, the point was that my own mother was hell bent on disrupting my life and hurting me.
The next morning we went to the clerks office and got our marriage certificate. It was a huge relief, it felt like since we had that no matter what Kym did, she couldn't stop us now. When we got home there was a message on out answering machine from Grandma A.......The date had been set, February 12th at 7pm......It was happening, in less than a week I would be married. It felt almost surreal.
The officer said we would have to come with him to the police station, I didn't want Kendra there so I asked if we could drop her off with Richards mom and meet them at the station. The officer said I had to go with him but that Richard could drop her off and then come in afterward.
I went with the officer, I asked him questions about what was going on and he wouldn't answer any of my questions. When we got to the station I was taken to what looked like a conference room and told to wait there. Not very long after a detective walked in, I was already fuming by this point and asked him why I was there. He said that my mother had called the police station in Buena Park and told them I had ran away from home and she thought I would go to California, that she thought I was able to do it with a fake ID.....I couldn't help but laugh. He got a bit upset with me and said that this wasn't something to laugh about, my mother was very concerned about me...........that made me laugh even harder.
I explained to the detective that I had turned 18 on the 25th and that the day after my birthday I had snuck out to the airport and left for California, and I explained why I had done it the way that I did. that Kym wasn't concerned about me, she was just gets off on making things harder for me. He said it would be easy enough to find out by running my social security number.....I gave it to him and waited. When he came back in he said that my story checked out, but the man I was with was still being questioned so i would have to stay in the room till they were done with him. When I asked what he was being questioned for he said my mother had also said that this man was forcing me to make the decision to leave home and was using the daughter we shared against me so I would agree to whatever he said. I told him that I had been with Richard for 3 years and he wasn't forcing me to do anything, he then said that Kym wanted to press charges for statutory rape.......I about lost it right there in front of the detective. He said it would be in my best interest to calm down and wait till they were done with their investigation.
I sat and cried, terrified that the man I loved was going to be arrested. Two hours later the detective came in and said I was free to leave....I said what about Richard? he said he is waiting for you out front. I said (sarcastically) that's awesome can we go get our marriage certificate now and not be harassed? He said sure but we wouldn't getting it today, the clerks office was closed now.
I was so mad I just broke down crying. Richard said it was okay that we would go the next morning. That wasn't the point, the point was that my own mother was hell bent on disrupting my life and hurting me.
The next morning we went to the clerks office and got our marriage certificate. It was a huge relief, it felt like since we had that no matter what Kym did, she couldn't stop us now. When we got home there was a message on out answering machine from Grandma A.......The date had been set, February 12th at 7pm......It was happening, in less than a week I would be married. It felt almost surreal.
Its all happening so fast!!! Chapter 26
A few days later Richard took me to his work place to meet his grandfather, I was again so nervous I about threw up in the car pulling up to the building. Richard took me inside and walked me back to his grandfathers office, AND LEFT ME THERE!!!! Grandpa A had me come in and sit down, he wanted to talk to me......great.
I sat down and he said.......SO why wont the two of you get married.....I didnt know what to say, I just kind of sat there and said well we want to, we were planning on saving for a year and have a nice small wedding that we can afford. He stopped me and said thats not acceptable, it needs to happen now. The smart ass in me jumped in and I said well you know thats not possible, you sign his paycheck. Thankfully he laughed. He said Richards grandma and I have discussed it and we want to pay for a wedding so you two can get married now, what do you say? I said well thats something I would need to discuess with Richard first. He got on the intercom and he called for Richard to come into the office, Richard didnt even fully get through the door before he said......so Grandma and I are going to pay for your wedding, hows next week for you? Richard just stood there stunned and looked at me, I just shrugged my shoulders.......Richard said ummmmmm yeah that sounds good. Grandpa A said ok great Grandma and I will set the arrangements and let you know, I have work to do, let me see this baby and then you need to get going, he handed me $500 and said you have dress shopping to do. I was seriously just stunned, just in complete shock.
After Grandpa A fawned over the baby for about 10 min we left and went dress shopping. It was quickly realised there was no way I was going to be getting an actual wedding dress by the next week so we headed to the mall and I went into Macys and to the prom dress department. I found a very pretty white and silver halter prom dress that fit nicely, so I got it. It was on sale for $40. Then went into payless and found some cute silver strappy sandle heals that went with the dress nicely and got those for $20, headed over to a tux rental place and rented Richards tux and shoes......that was $150.......were just over $200 now, there is still $300 left. I told Richard to take the rest back to his grandfather.
Richard got home from work the next day and handed me the cash, his grandfather wouldnt take it back, said for me to go get my nails done or whatever it is girls do before a wedding, and keep the rest for me.....so I did, I went and got my nails done, my toes done and saved the rest.
Richard got the next day off from work so we could go to the county clerks office and file for out marriage certificate. We stood in line for what felt like hours, got up to the clerk gave them out photo ID's, she ran out names, got a worried look on her face and said to please wait while she got a supervisor, since I had an out of state ID she had to have it approved.
The next thing I know an police officer is coming around to us and pulled us to some back room, he said that when the clerk ran my name that it came up as flagged as a run away, and they had reason to believe my ID was fake........ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!?!?!?!
This REEKED of Kym.
I sat down and he said.......SO why wont the two of you get married.....I didnt know what to say, I just kind of sat there and said well we want to, we were planning on saving for a year and have a nice small wedding that we can afford. He stopped me and said thats not acceptable, it needs to happen now. The smart ass in me jumped in and I said well you know thats not possible, you sign his paycheck. Thankfully he laughed. He said Richards grandma and I have discussed it and we want to pay for a wedding so you two can get married now, what do you say? I said well thats something I would need to discuess with Richard first. He got on the intercom and he called for Richard to come into the office, Richard didnt even fully get through the door before he said......so Grandma and I are going to pay for your wedding, hows next week for you? Richard just stood there stunned and looked at me, I just shrugged my shoulders.......Richard said ummmmmm yeah that sounds good. Grandpa A said ok great Grandma and I will set the arrangements and let you know, I have work to do, let me see this baby and then you need to get going, he handed me $500 and said you have dress shopping to do. I was seriously just stunned, just in complete shock.
After Grandpa A fawned over the baby for about 10 min we left and went dress shopping. It was quickly realised there was no way I was going to be getting an actual wedding dress by the next week so we headed to the mall and I went into Macys and to the prom dress department. I found a very pretty white and silver halter prom dress that fit nicely, so I got it. It was on sale for $40. Then went into payless and found some cute silver strappy sandle heals that went with the dress nicely and got those for $20, headed over to a tux rental place and rented Richards tux and shoes......that was $150.......were just over $200 now, there is still $300 left. I told Richard to take the rest back to his grandfather.
Richard got home from work the next day and handed me the cash, his grandfather wouldnt take it back, said for me to go get my nails done or whatever it is girls do before a wedding, and keep the rest for me.....so I did, I went and got my nails done, my toes done and saved the rest.
Richard got the next day off from work so we could go to the county clerks office and file for out marriage certificate. We stood in line for what felt like hours, got up to the clerk gave them out photo ID's, she ran out names, got a worried look on her face and said to please wait while she got a supervisor, since I had an out of state ID she had to have it approved.
The next thing I know an police officer is coming around to us and pulled us to some back room, he said that when the clerk ran my name that it came up as flagged as a run away, and they had reason to believe my ID was fake........ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!?!?!?!
This REEKED of Kym.
Sunday, April 12, 2015
holding breath, holding breath, holding breath.....Chapter 25
I Just stood there in disbelief.......What do you mean they don't think Kendra is yours??
He said because they knew we hadn't been aloud to see each other regularly they assume that I was sleeping with other people. My first reaction was to be mad, my next reaction was to cry...which I did. After a while I told him, call your
mom and tell her and your grandma to come over, so they can meet the baby, he said.....ummm you sure about that??? I said absolutely they need to see her, she looks just like you, and besides, we cant start out family like this.
Richard got on the phone with his mom and grandma and said......Guess what, Starr had the baby, its a girl, her name is Kendra and Starr is here, wanna come meet them?
Two days later I was in the bathroom feeling like I was gonna puke waiting for them to show up. There was a knock on the door and I about lost it, I was shaking and so nervous I was almost crying. Richard came in and said grab the baby, they are here. I picked up Kendra and walked into the living room, and before I could say anything Richards mom said oh my God, look at that baby, she looks just like Richard when he was a baby!! and she came and took her out of my arms. Insert total relief here. The first meeting went well, they were very nice and crazy about Kendra, we got along very well. Before they left they asked the question I had been waiting for the whole evening......So when are you two getting married?
Richard and I just kind of looked at each other and shrugged...We hadn't talked about it yet, setting a date or anything. We knew we were going to have to save money so we knew it was going to be at least a year, and honestly we were in no rush.
Well you may want to be thinking about that. you know what Grandpa is gonna say.
When Richards mom and grandma left I asked.......So which grandpa and what will he say?
Richard told me that his moms dad, was very upset that he had gotten his girlfriend pregnant and said that he had to merry me or he was fired (Richard worked for the company he owned) Richard told him that we were already planning on getting married before I got pregnant and we were not in any rush.....apparently his grandpa didn't agree.
I should have known then that his family wasn't going to be able to keep their opinions to themselves.
He said because they knew we hadn't been aloud to see each other regularly they assume that I was sleeping with other people. My first reaction was to be mad, my next reaction was to cry...which I did. After a while I told him, call your
mom and tell her and your grandma to come over, so they can meet the baby, he said.....ummm you sure about that??? I said absolutely they need to see her, she looks just like you, and besides, we cant start out family like this.Richard got on the phone
with his mom and grandma and said......Guess what, Starr had the baby, its a girl, her name is Kendra and Starr is here, wanna come meet them?Two days later I was in the bathroom feeling like I was gonna puke waiting
for them to show up. There was a knock on the door and I about lost it, I was shaking and so nervous I was almost crying. Richard came in and said grab the baby, they are here. I picked up Kendra and walked into the living room, and before I could say anything Richards mom said oh my God, look at that baby, she looks just like Richard when he was a baby!! and she came and took her out of my arms. Insert total relief here. The first meeting went well, they were very nice and crazy about Kendra, we got along very well. Before they left they asked the question I had been waiting for the whole evening......So when are you two getting married?Richard and I just kind of looked at each other and shrugged...We hadn't talked about it yet, setting a date or anything. We knew we were going to have to save money so we knew it was going to be at least a year, and honestly we were in no rush.
Well you may want to be thinking about that. you know what Grandpa is gonna say.
When Richards mom and grandma left I asked.......So which grandpa and what will he say?
Richard told me that his moms dad, was very upset that he had gotten his girlfriend pregnant and said that he had to merry me or he was fired (Richard worked for the company he owned) Richard told him that we were already planning on getting married before I got pregnant and we were not in any rush.....apparently his grandpa didn't agree.
I should have known then that his family wasn't going to be able to keep their opinions to themselves.
Monday, January 19, 2015
The great escape....chapter 24
Kym talked about Kendra like she was her daughter, in her mind she had this unbreakable bond with her granddaughter and we were going to live there forever and she was going to help raise her.....apparently she forgot Kendra had a dad and I had a fiance. I knew there wasn't a chance in hell that Kym was going to take me to the airport so Richard and I decided I was going to need a cab to pick us up and take us to the airport. Over the next few weeks I slowly packed up everything that I could and hid the luggage in my closet. On the morning of the 26th, the day after my 18th birthday, at 3am I started quietly carrying out my luggage to the end of the driveway, the cab company was told NOT to honk the horn that I would be out there waiting, they were to be there no later than 3:45 am because my step dad got up at 4:30 for work and I wanted to make sure I was long gone before he got up. Kendra and I are standing out at the end of the driveway when the cab showed up at 3:30, the driver helped me get all the bags in the car and we were off.....I felt this HUGE weight lift off me once we hit the freeway. I got to the airport in Memphis extremely early but I didn't care, I would gladly sit around the airport for a few hours. I checked my luggage, everything except for Kendra's diaper bag and we walked around the airport for a bit, at 7 am I headed over to my gate and waited for boarding. When it was my turn to board the plane I couldn't stop myself from crying, not because I was sad to leave but because I was so happy I was finally getting out of this place.
My plane landed and I couldn't wait to get off and see Richard, it had been 9 months since I had laid eyes on my man and I just wanted to melt into him. I was one of the last to get off the plane and there he was.....I again burst into tears, I full on blubbered, I'm talking the ugly cry. We just stood there holding each other with poor Kendra being squished in the middle of us. Richard took his daughter into his arms for the first time and it was magical, you could literally see the love for her radiate from him.
we left LAX and we were on our way to our home, a sweet little two bedroom apartment in Riverside California. When we got to the apartment and he opened the door it was like I was looking into a mansion....no joke! It was clean and smelled good and I could lay Kendra down in her bed in her room and not have to worry about her, I was happier than I had been in a very long time.
Richard gave me the grand tour, the kitchen which he stocked with all my favorite foods, the living room that he laid out in such a way that the light from the window would fill the living room but I could lay Kendra on the floor and the sun wouldn't be in her eyes, out bedroom and bathroom, and then Kendra's room.....a beautiful white crib with matching dresser and the whole thing was done up with old school Winnie the Pooh Bear......my absolute favorite! He opened up Kendra's closet and he had filled it with clothes for her.....this man did an amazing job and I knew right that second that I was going to be happy.
THEN.....he says.....I told my mom and grandma that you were pregnant but I didn't tell them you were coming home.....they don't think Kendra is mine........
no sleep for mommy.....chapter 23
On December 1st I was on my way back to Kym's house, I was NOT happy about Kendra being in that house for one second but I didn't have much of a choice in the matter. We got to Kym's house and I took Kendra straight to my room, the cleanest room in the place. I had gotten some weather stripping and lined my door with it and kept it spotless so those little demon roaches couldn't get into my room, I still slept with cotton in my ears just to be safe and I didn't know what I was going to do with Kendra, I couldn't put cotton in her ears......I was panicking. I called Richard and said GET ME OUT OF HERE!!! There wasn't much we could do till I turned 18 and that was still a month and a half away.
I couldn't sleep with Kendra in that house so I put her in her car seat and went out to the car, I turned the heater on low and bundled us up and we slept....well sorta, I never truly fell totally asleep and she was up every two ish hours to nurse and have her diaper changed, BUT she was safe and that's what was important. I took Kendra in the house in the morning and cleaned everything like I had been since I moved in and took care of Kendra....while Kym slept and sat around watching tv.
After two weeks of sleeping in the car I was deliriously tired, one day I sat down to eat lunch and fell asleep while eating. I don't know how long I was asleep for but when I woke up Kendra was gone. I was frantic, I knew Kym had her and that made me extremely scared...she was taking pain pills that morning for one of her many health issues (that she didn't really have) and here she was driving around with my 2 week old baby. I called the police and they were ZERO help, I didn't know the license plate number and because I was a minor and Kym was my mom they didn't take the face that this woman had taken my child very seriously.
THREE HOURS LATER Kym comes walking in the house with Kendra who was screaming her head off, The idiot had taken Kendra God knows where......I still to this day don't know where.....without a diaper bag and Kendra was exclusively breast fed. She was starving and soiled, which gave her a diaper rash. I took Kendra into the bathroom and sat her in a luke warm bath to clean her up, changed her diaper, dressed her, fed her and she fell asleep. I put her in her my bed and went into the living room, got straight up in Kym's face and told her if she EVER took my daughter ANYWHERE, I don't care if it was even to the end of the driveway to the mail box with out my permission I would kill her.....I know by the look on her face that she knew I was serious.
I called Richard that evening and told him what had happened that day, he was mad at me for not calling him sooner but he was MORE mad at Kym for taking our daughter without permission. He said by the end of the week I was going to have my escape plan in hand.
He came through, by the end of the week when I got the mail there they were, two one way tickets to LAX for 8am January 26th 2000.
The count down began.
Friday, January 16, 2015
The first day of the rest of my life chapter 22
It was November and I was getting prepared for baby, I was due in only a few weeks and my doctor said I could deliver early because of my age so it wouldn't be a bad idea to be prepared. Tom decided that he wanted a big Thanksgiving dinner that year so Kym went to work on this ridiculously over the top menu for 4 people......and in fine Kym fashion she waited till the last minute to do all the shopping at once.....THE DAY BEFORE THANKSGIVING. She insisted that I go with her because she would need help so off we went to the grocery store. We get to the Kroger in the next small town over called Olive Branch and of course it was packed and all but picked over. Kym made me walk every inch of the store...well more like waddle in my case....twice to find whatever we could there before hitting the super Walmart in hopes of finding the rest of what she needed for this dinner she was planning......if not into Memphis we would go.
I ran into the kitchen waving the packet and telling Kym we needed to go to the hospital RIGHT NOW and what the paperwork said. She looked at me with this irritated look on her face and said....damn it Starr, its fucking Thanksgiving!!!! try thinking of someone other than yourself for a change....she turned back around and continued what she was doing. I just stood there trying to process what had just happened. I grabbed the phone and called Richard and told him what was going on, he said for me to hang up and call 911 and get an ambulance to take me to the hospital...so that's what I did. I dialed 911 and told the dispatcher that I was almost 39 weeks pregnant and that my water had broke at 5 pm the day before and my mother was refusing to take me to the hospital because I wasn't having any contractions yet and could she please send an ambulance to 13700 Taylor Mills Road.....she got quiet and said Oh sweetie I'm sorry but they don't come all the way out there, the roads are just too small for the ambulance to get down.....you just need to tell your mama to get your butt to the hospital.....yes ma'am, I'm trying......well sweetie I will be praying for you, good luck and happy Thanksgiving.....click
I just sat there holding the phone with the dial tone in my ear.....I had no idea what I was going to do. I hung up the phone and called Richard back, he said to call my doctor and have him talk to Kym and tell her she needed to get me to the hospital NOW. I called the office and of course it was closed but his answering service answered and I told the lady on the other end that I needed for doctor Thayer to call me back as soon as possible. It was almost 3 pm now and I had changed the diaper in my pants 5 times already.
finally at 8 pm Dr Thayer called me back and I told him what was going on, he said put that woman on the phone right now....I handed the phone to Kym and I could hear him yell at her to get me to the hospital right then, that he would be meeting us there.
I grabbed my bag and went and got in the car, I sat there for 20 min while Kym took her sweet time getting dressed and out the door. My water had broke over 24 hours ago now.
I got to the hospital a little after 10 pm, traffic was awful. I no more got into the emergency room and gave my name before the triage nurse had me in a wheel chair and had an orderly taking me up to labor and delivery, apparently Dr Thayer had told them I was on my way and to get me up there as soon as I came in.
I was hooked up to monitors and Dr. Thayer already ordered antibiotics just in case. About ten minutes after I was settled in my room Dr. Thayer came in to check me, I was dilated at a 4, he ordered me to be started on pitocin to get my contractions started. I was exhausted and fell asleep for about an hour when I was woken up by some pretty intense pain......CONTRACTIONS!!! I was finally having contractions!!!! it was now early in the morning of November 26th.....no more did my contractions start that they stopped, so Dr. Thayer ordered my pitocin to be increased. It took HOURS for anything to start happening and when it finally did they weren't very strong or consistent. The nurses were keeping a close eye on my blood pressure and the babies heart beat, we were both doing well...only problem was.....I was dilating at a very slow pace, by midnight on the 27th I was only at a 6! I was adamant that I wanted to have this baby naturally.....no drugs and NO c section, Dr. Thayer assured me that as long as I was making some kind of progress and that the baby and I were handling the labor well that's exactly what I would get. I had called Richard the night I got to the hospital to let him know that I was there and that were would have a baby soon, he called just about every hour to check in, I told him he needed to rest and if I started to have the baby in the middle of the night I would call him.
Early evening on the 28th my contractions were coming hard and fast, almost one right on top of the other, I called my nurse in and told her to check me, I was sure I was ready to push as I was feeling quite a bit of pressure...I was at an 8.....Dr. Thayer came in and said that I was laboring much too long and if I didn't hit fully dilated soon he was going to have to give me a c section. The nurse came in every hour to check me and i wasn't budging past an 8. Dr Thayer came in at 10 that night and told me he was ordering the C section, I begged him not to, but I was in so much pain and so tired I was about to just give in to it.....Dr. Thayer said we could try one thing first and if it didn't work I was getting the C section if I liked it or not. He said he wanted to order me an epidural and see if the pain relief would help my body relax enough to allow it to dilate to the full 10 so I could still have her vaginally. I agreed and at 10:15 the anesthesiologist came in to administer the epidural. by 10:25 ish I was pain free and by 10:30 I was dilated to a 10 and the baby was coming, I pushed 3 times and.........
At 10:38 pm on November 28th 1999 My amazing Kendra Loulin was born 7lbs 1Oz 22" long and perfect......completely healthy and just PERFECT!!!
I cried on the phone with Richard, who had been on the phone the whole time I was getting the epidural and through the pushing.....he heard her first cry and the nurse announce her weight and height and we cried.
Our baby girl was here, so how were we going to get us out of the hell house? Now that Kendra was here it needed to happen.....SOON
As we were walking out of the Kroger (after only getting the yams and some veggies) my water broke!! I tell Kym who says well let me know if you start contracting, we still need to go to Walmart.....thankfully Walmart had the rest of what she wanted and after two hours of walking around there and then standing in a crazy long line to check out we were on our way home. I told Kym I needed to go to the hospital, that I wasn't having contractions yet but I kept leaking water and it felt like it was coming out more the more I walked, she said she wasn't going to make that trip into Memphis unless she had to, and she didn't have to until I was contracting. We got home and she was "exhausted" so I was left to put away the groceries. it was about 9 pm by the time I was done so I laid down, called Richard and talked to him for a little bit and went to sleep. I woke up the next morning to soaking wet pajamas and bed sheets, I walked out to the living room to find Kym in the kitchen cooking already *color me shocked* She said she needed my help and I told her I needed to shower and change my clothes and bedding because everything was soaking wet, I said I really think I need to go to the hospital, she said no contractions, no hospital...and DON'T try to lie about it, I'll know. I got in the shower and changed my clothes and my bedding, I opened up a package of diapers I had got with the money Richard was sending me and put it inside my underwear to keep from getting my clothes wet again. I helped Kym with what she would allow me to help with and then eventually she just kicked me out of the kitchen all together. I went to my room and started looking through a bunch of papers and pamphlets that my doctor had given me about what to expect during labor and how to recognize actual labor verses false labor. I was reading one of the packets and three pages in there it was......"If your water breaks, even if you are not experiencing any contractions go to the hospital right away, when your water breaks it allows bacteria to get to your unborn baby which can lead to numerous problems for you and your baby, including death of the unborn child" WHAT?????
I ran into the kitchen waving the packet and telling Kym we needed to go to the hospital RIGHT NOW and what the paperwork said. She looked at me with this irritated look on her face and said....damn it Starr, its fucking Thanksgiving!!!! try thinking of someone other than yourself for a change....she turned back around and continued what she was doing. I just stood there trying to process what had just happened. I grabbed the phone and called Richard and told him what was going on, he said for me to hang up and call 911 and get an ambulance to take me to the hospital...so that's what I did. I dialed 911 and told the dispatcher that I was almost 39 weeks pregnant and that my water had broke at 5 pm the day before and my mother was refusing to take me to the hospital because I wasn't having any contractions yet and could she please send an ambulance to 13700 Taylor Mills Road.....she got quiet and said Oh sweetie I'm sorry but they don't come all the way out there, the roads are just too small for the ambulance to get down.....you just need to tell your mama to get your butt to the hospital.....yes ma'am, I'm trying......well sweetie I will be praying for you, good luck and happy Thanksgiving.....click
I just sat there holding the phone with the dial tone in my ear.....I had no idea what I was going to do. I hung up the phone and called Richard back, he said to call my doctor and have him talk to Kym and tell her she needed to get me to the hospital NOW. I called the office and of course it was closed but his answering service answered and I told the lady on the other end that I needed for doctor Thayer to call me back as soon as possible. It was almost 3 pm now and I had changed the diaper in my pants 5 times already.
finally at 8 pm Dr Thayer called me back and I told him what was going on, he said put that woman on the phone right now....I handed the phone to Kym and I could hear him yell at her to get me to the hospital right then, that he would be meeting us there.
I grabbed my bag and went and got in the car, I sat there for 20 min while Kym took her sweet time getting dressed and out the door. My water had broke over 24 hours ago now.
I got to the hospital a little after 10 pm, traffic was awful. I no more got into the emergency room and gave my name before the triage nurse had me in a wheel chair and had an orderly taking me up to labor and delivery, apparently Dr Thayer had told them I was on my way and to get me up there as soon as I came in.
I was hooked up to monitors and Dr. Thayer already ordered antibiotics just in case. About ten minutes after I was settled in my room Dr. Thayer came in to check me, I was dilated at a 4, he ordered me to be started on pitocin to get my contractions started. I was exhausted and fell asleep for about an hour when I was woken up by some pretty intense pain......CONTRACTIONS!!! I was finally having contractions!!!! it was now early in the morning of November 26th.....no more did my contractions start that they stopped, so Dr. Thayer ordered my pitocin to be increased. It took HOURS for anything to start happening and when it finally did they weren't very strong or consistent. The nurses were keeping a close eye on my blood pressure and the babies heart beat, we were both doing well...only problem was.....I was dilating at a very slow pace, by midnight on the 27th I was only at a 6! I was adamant that I wanted to have this baby naturally.....no drugs and NO c section, Dr. Thayer assured me that as long as I was making some kind of progress and that the baby and I were handling the labor well that's exactly what I would get. I had called Richard the night I got to the hospital to let him know that I was there and that were would have a baby soon, he called just about every hour to check in, I told him he needed to rest and if I started to have the baby in the middle of the night I would call him.
Early evening on the 28th my contractions were coming hard and fast, almost one right on top of the other, I called my nurse in and told her to check me, I was sure I was ready to push as I was feeling quite a bit of pressure...I was at an 8.....Dr. Thayer came in and said that I was laboring much too long and if I didn't hit fully dilated soon he was going to have to give me a c section. The nurse came in every hour to check me and i wasn't budging past an 8. Dr Thayer came in at 10 that night and told me he was ordering the C section, I begged him not to, but I was in so much pain and so tired I was about to just give in to it.....Dr. Thayer said we could try one thing first and if it didn't work I was getting the C section if I liked it or not. He said he wanted to order me an epidural and see if the pain relief would help my body relax enough to allow it to dilate to the full 10 so I could still have her vaginally. I agreed and at 10:15 the anesthesiologist came in to administer the epidural. by 10:25 ish I was pain free and by 10:30 I was dilated to a 10 and the baby was coming, I pushed 3 times and.........
At 10:38 pm on November 28th 1999 My amazing Kendra Loulin was born 7lbs 1Oz 22" long and perfect......completely healthy and just PERFECT!!!
I cried on the phone with Richard, who had been on the phone the whole time I was getting the epidural and through the pushing.....he heard her first cry and the nurse announce her weight and height and we cried.
Our baby girl was here, so how were we going to get us out of the hell house? Now that Kendra was here it needed to happen.....SOON
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)