The next seven months flew by, Richard and I were getting ready to celebrate our one year anniversary, I was so excited, we were planning on seeing a movie and then going to dinner. I went out and got a new outfit for our date and was combing magazines looking for a new hairstyle.
May 8th 1998 came and I was getting ready for our date out, we went to see Titanic and then went to Orange hill for dinner, it was absolutely perfect! I had never been so happy in my life. I was now 16, and we were really starting to plan our wedding, we were planning on getting married right after I turned 18. This made grams very nervous and she continued to try and get me to stop seeing Richard. In June she found her chance.
A friend of Richards had gotten stranded in Los Vegas, Richard went to get him, he was only supposed to be gone a day and it ended up being three because the friend wasn't given his last paycheck on time and didn't trust the guy to mail it to him once back in California. On Monday when I got home from school there were police at my house, I ran in expecting to see Randy (whom I hadn't talked to since the ninja star incident) being arrested. Instead I saw grams sitting at the formal dinning table speaking with two officers, when they saw me they called me in and told me that grams called them because she didn't want Richard to be able to step foot on the property anymore, she had filed for a no trespass warrant and it was granted, from that moment Richard could be arrested if he came to my house again. Grams told me I was no longer aloud to see him and if she caught me sneaking around with him she would go to court for a restraining order. I was completely devastated.
I didn't speak to grams for months after that, we would literally pass each other in the house not speaking a word. During this time I was sneaking around to see Richard, thanks to a few friends who were more than willing to be my cover, I would go to there house and Richard would pick me up, or I would go spend the day at Knotts just to go into the park, wait 10 min and then meet Richard outside the gates and spend the day with him in a hotel room.
Also during this time Grams started to sleep a lot and not feel well, but me being a selfish teen didn't ask questions and didn't really care, I was still so angry with her for forbidding mine and Richards relationship I couldn't see past it.
Lee and I were fighting more and more because of my attitude, she made it clear that I was being a selfish brat but I didn't care, I thought she was being an unreasonable bitch, and told her so to her face. She called me over one day to tell me that grams was getting worse and she talked her into going into see the doctor, that I needed to get my head out of my ass and start being supportive and be there for her because her suspicions were correct I was going to be very sorry.....my head stayed up my ass.
Grams doctors appointment came and the doctor admitted her into the hospital, this hit me like a ton of bricks, the last time this happened we found out that pop had terminal cancer, I was terrified.....was grams going to die? had I wasted precious months with her because I was angry? months I could never get back. I sat in a corner of my room and cried harder than I had ever cried in my life, I was sorry for how I had been acting, I was scared and I felt guilty, a guilt that weighed heavy on my heart, so heavy it felt like I was being stabbed in the chest with a dull knife.
I just waited for the phone to ring, to hear Lees voice telling me it was all ok. I prayed, I prayed so hard begging God not to take Grams, that my heart just couldn't handle loosing her, I begged and begged till the phone rang......
hello? Starr its grandma (Lee) grams is done with her tests, they are releasing her tonight, we wont know anything for a few days. It would be really nice if you could have dinner ready for her......AND BE NICE!.....yes ma'am....that's all I could get myself to say.
Grams came home from the hospital and I had dinner waiting, I made fried chicken, mashed potatoes and corn on the cob, Grams picked at her food, not really eating much and went to bed. I washed the dishes and then went and crawled in bed with her, I laid with her the rest of the night holding her and crying and saying I'm sorry over and over again. she just held me back and said its ok baby doll, I know you love me. I could have said I was sorry two million times and the pain I felt in my chest wouldn't have gone away, all the sorry's in the world would not make up for the way I had treated grams over the last few months.
A few days later grams got the call from the doctor, she wanted to see her in her office as soon as possible, grams went right then, she knew it was more than likely not good news. Lee went with her, they were both sitting at the kitchen table waiting for me to get home from school, I walked in, saw them both there, sitting not saying a word, and I knew.................
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