After Troys death Grams, Lee and I all tried to get some kind of normalcy back, but it wasn't so easy. Pop was gone, Troy was gone and our family just felt so incomplete, too many people we loved were missing. Randy in perfect form dove deeper in to alcohol and drugs which put a HUGE stress on grams, but she just couldn't bring herself to make him leave, she was terrified that he would end up dead in a ditch and she wouldn't know, she really felt like she was stuck between a rock and a hard place.
I wanted to be a kid again and I was going to be no matter what. I started hanging out with my friends again, a lot, I wasn't hardly home which meant less time with Grams. I had met this new friend Tanya who wasn't the best influence but I kind of liked that. She was over one day and asked to use my phone to page this guy so she could get a hold of her FWB, I let her and when he called back he asked what number she was at and she told him her friends, he BEGGED to talk to me and finally she gave in, his name was Richard, we talked for about half an hour and he had to go but said if I wanted to talk to him again to page him around 8 and he would call me.
At eight I paged him and he called me back, we talked for HOURS and decided to meet up the next day after I got out of school. I rushed home and tore my closet apart looking for the perfect outfit and decided on a blue billabong baby T and a pair of dark wash cut off jean shorts. Just then the doorbell rang and I rushed to answer it and there stood....Tanya. She knew Richard and I were meeting that day and she was NOT happy about it, although she wouldn't give me a reason why. Her and I were arguing when I heard this loud bumping noise coming from down the street, I looked up and there was this white lowered mini truck that I had never seen before and it pulled in front of my house, out stepped this tall dark and very handsome man, Tanya said "great he's here" my jaw hit the floor when I realized that THIS was Richard. I walked over to him and introduced myself and giggled like an idiot. I had no clue how to behave with a boy, this was all new to me. we went in the house and sat in my room talking, Tanya was trying to embarrass me by telling him my blond hair wasn't natural, that didn't seem to bother him and he asked if I had any pictures of myself with dark hair. I left the room and went into the guest room to get a photo album and Richard followed me in there. Richard and I sat in there for a few min talking with out Tanya and all of a sudden he leaned in and kissed me......it was amazing! it was also my first kiss. Tanya came looking for us and we went back into my room and we decided to get ice cream, grams wouldn't let me go so Richard and Tanya went to pick it up and bring it back, when they got back Tanya was in an even more pissy mood and just up and left, that was more than ok with me.
Richard and I spent the next few hours just talking, I found out he was much older than I thought, he was 19.....I was 15, I thought it would be a problem for him but we were really hitting it off, I got up to use the restroom and when I came out Richard was standing there, he said ya know I really like you, I said I really like you too, he leaned in and kissed me again and then said I would really like for you to be my girl, I said I would really like to be your girl, he smiled and kissed me again..... as of 6:45pm May 8th 1997 Richard and I were a couple.
Richard left that night and I was just head over heals, I was terrified about these feelings I was having....could I be in love? this soon? The next morning I woke up to a page from Richard and I called him back when he answered I said hi and he said.....I love you...I was up all night thinking about you and I love you. In that moment I wasn't scared anymore and said I love you too. Richard came over that night after he got off work and I told him that my friends wanted to meet him, because of course I had been talking all day about this amazing boy I was dating. We decided to go to Knotts Berry Farm that Saturday so he could meet my two best friends. Things went well, Tuesday and John really liked him, but they were afraid that I was getting into too much too soon for this being my first boyfriend but hey when ya know...ya know.
Two weeks later Richard took me to lunch to this very nice restaurant called Orange Hill, during lunch Richard got down on one knee and proposed to me.....I said yes. I knew it was going to be at least 3 years before we could even think about getting married but I didn't care and neither did he.
I was completely in love with this man, I missed him so much when we weren't together and my heart would race when I heard his truck coming down the street. I had decided that this was the person I was going to have sex with the first time, I didn't know when but I knew it was going to be him.
June 3rd 1997 we were celebrating out one month anniversary early because he had to work late on the 8th. We were in my room making out and I decided this was the moment.....right now.....I looked at him and said do you have a condom? he said yes and I said lets use it. That man moved so fast it made me laugh, then when it came to doing the actual deed he was worried about me, how I was feeling and wanted to make sure I was completely certain I wanted to do this. I told him I was and we had sex, he was sweet and gentle, he was loving and made my first time everything your first time should be. I wouldn't take it back or change it for anything,
They say sex changes things, and it does.....and usually not for the better
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